Tag Archives: life

Help isn’t a four letter word

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Help isn’t a four letter word…

Well it is of course, but you get my drift.

The other day I had a conversation with a mate about marriage counselling. They felt it was something you only did when things got ‘really bad’… And you didn’t talk about it. To anyone. That really disappointed me – why are we so reluctant to get regular emotional and mental help?

We happily see the doctor, fuss about Fitbits, cycle nowhere in a gym for hours, eat organic kale and do all sorts of regular maintenance in the hopes of never letting our bodies get ‘really bad’ – why will we let our mental state go until its almost too late? Why do we let our relationships suffer, our friendships go yuck and our ambitions deteriorate by not taking our emotional wellbeing seriously?

Apparently, it’s the stigma.

A great *HuffPost article outlines 14 common misconceptions about people who go to therapy which supports this like; ‘we’re weak’, ‘we’re crazy’ ‘we’re on medication’ and ’we’re in a ‘bad place’’. You’d have to be pretty resilient to push through those judgements – no wonder people wait till the cliff edge!

But what if this changed?

What if counselling and help was like prevention, mental maintenance, going for a brain run? What if people did it regularly. If it was celebrated as a sign of mutual respect and love in a relationship. A sign of well person with a healthy self esteem looking after themselves.

In the case of marriage counselling would this prevent things getting ‘really bad’…? And now what if we applied this to career health?

How many times have you felt lost at work, totally uninspired, so much meh you’re
drowning in it?

How many times have you looked painfully at your reflection and mumbled “What am I doing with my life???”?

Maybe a regular visit to a life coach, to a career counsellor or a mentor might help keep
everything in check – keep pointing you straight in a sort-of line, so that you can see where you’re going and appreciate where you’ve been.

Simple questions like “Am I where i want to be? What/who is getting in my way? How/when can I tackle this? And the big bonza – Why am I doing what I’m doing?” Tackled together with an objective professional, regularly, it could be really powerful. It might prevent that fisticuffs with the boss that literally got you fired, or that meltdown that had you curled up mumbling in a corner when you realised everything you’d done for the last 14 years was a waste of time!

Maybe we should all try it!

We’re pretty big about it here at MT HQ – mentoring and confidante services are in our product mix and our corporate mantra is ‘We point people in the right direction’. In fact, for a limited time, we’re putting our money where our mouth is – we’re offering half price mentor sessions!

So why not start the new year really caring for yourself – or give the ultimate Christmas gift to a friend who could really do with some direction. Hit us up on: help@mamatray.com

It’ll work wonders!

*https://www.huffingtonpost.com/sahaj-kohli/misconceptions-about-therapy_b_7286204.html


These wise words come from the brain of Mandy Lawle
r.

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Finding your ‘why’

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How sustainable is the ‘Do what you love’ mantra?

Miya Tokumitsu, author of ‘Do What You Love And Other Lies About Success and Happiness’, says, in an interview with The Altantic, she feels there’s a sort of dark hedonism in the pursuit of this ideal – like an addiction, where one is relentlessly seeking those “good feelings.”

Is this another way of saying that the ‘too much of a good thing’ principle can apply to a career based only on ‘love’?

Case in point – I worked in a café for 6 months surrounded by delicious food (my ‘happy place’) and ended up 10kgs heavier and very unfulfilled!

So, I think better advice is to find what ‘we care about’.

We are constantly telling organisations to find and commit to their ‘why’ and communicate this through a meaningful brand, but we don’t necessarily put the same pressures on ourselves.

I think a lot of the reason is that it’s easier said than done for most of us.

There’s mortgages to pay, bills to deal with, kids to raise, cars to fix – wistfully pursuing a noble vocation that usually translates to little $$ might be a bit pie-in-the-sky.

So how on earth do those of us stuck in a ‘what’ get some ‘why’ in our lives? How do we fish out the ‘vocation’ in our ‘profession’?

We might find some answers in the endless advice on ‘careers’ and ‘callings’ littered through
the internet.

Here’s two phrases I came across, for instance, that resonate with me…

‘Consider your epitaph, not your resume’

What do you really want to be remembered for? Read out your eulogy in your head – are you happy with what’s being said? What change can you make in your next career move that carves out more of your epitaph and less of your resume?

‘Find a problem to solve‘

How can I make my professional skill work to help fix a societal problem? Is there something I can do after hours, something I could suggest as an extra-curricular activity at work that makes a difference in a way I know will be fulfilling?

It’s not easy, but getting little bit of ‘why’ in our everyday work lives might go a long way.

Incidentally, I’ve now found my ‘why’ here at MamaTray where I now eat a lot less sandwiches and use my strategy smarts to help other organisations find their ‘why’. Ha!

These wise words come from the brain of Mandy Lawler.